Adrift

…what havoc the bots will make.  Yeesh.

But anyways, spring break!  Boy do I ever need it too; I’ve got an 8 page story to write, plus a 6 page paper on books I haven’t read yet.  Then there’s the two other analytical papers I need to get to, and whatever books behind them that I haven’t read yet as well, and a couple chapters to read for Narrative Intro…

So yeah.  Lots of reading.  And writing.  But once I get all that done, there’s just one more analytical paper, story revision, poem writing, and reading short stories.  If I can just focus this week, I should be good to go.

Let’s see…as for relevant things pertaining to me recently, I’ve got two.  First, I wrote a rap poem.  I was doubtful how it would be recieved, but to my surprise I got the highest score in the class.  I contribute this in large part to my bringing beats on my Gameboy.  By which I mean, I used my Gameboy camera that I’ve been carrying around with me for years to compose a 16 measure loop and had that playing while I performed.  That day was an excellent day.  Especially since I didn’t have to wake up for discussion next morning.

I have also become interested in video game remixes again.  Just hearing what some other people have done already, I can’t help but want to contribute to that somehow.  So I went over to OverClocked ReMix to see what I’d need to get started.  They suggested downloading Winamp and Chipamp, which I now have; and after a few other downloads, I can now listen to a bunch of music from NES on up to a bit of PS2 and Gameboy Advance.  Bliss.

Up to this point, I had thought I might be able to get away with just this “Winamp” thing and start mixin’ it up.  But, as it turns out, Winamp is just for listening.  So I looked at the software they were talking about; there was one in particular that seemed appealing.  Check the website, features, samples, great-great.  Then I took a look at the price: $500.

Holy.  Mother.  Of.  Pearl.

Five-hundred dollars.  That’s like…at least 20-25 games straight up.  That’s a PSP and ten games or so.  That’s almost a full month’s rent.  Obviously, I’m not going to be able to scrounge that up from anywhere anytime soon.  Billy had mentioned something about having a music program on his lappy and that I could use it, so I’ll have to take him up on that sometime when he isn’t busy with it.

Five-hundred dollars…

There’s nothing like having about a month to visit friends, celebrate a holiday, and just hang around.  I think I’d forgotten how good things could be near the end of last semester.  But it’s all behind me, and now I can discover if writing is really what fulfills me.

I’ve got to admit though, I’m a little worried about Intro to Poetry.  Not necessarily because I’ll have to write poems.  After all, the best poets tell stories through their words, and the best novelists use poetic language to capture the beauty of their thoughts.  No, I’m not anxious about that part.  Having to read them aloud is more so, but if I continue with literature, then I better get used to it.  Hopefully, with the amount of exposure to peers that I’ll get between both of my intro courses, that won’t be so much of an issue.  No, the thing that has me most nervous is…

…the teacher.

My jury is still out on this guy.  I mean, he seems like he’s a nice enough person, and he can break ice like no other, but he drops the F-bomb all over the place.  The first thing he does once class “officially” starts is write PC on the board.  “Can anyone tell me what this means?”  Someone ventured, “A computer?” which was of course met with a retort, and all was well and good.  So he says no, it’s political correctness.  Which he promptly crosses out.  “F— political correctness.  F— that.”  At this point, my mind has hit the silent panic button.  He also later talked about how reader’s feelings come before the writer’s.  Only it was more like, “Do you have feelings?  No!  You don’t have any feelings!  Only I have feelings, because I’m the reader!”  Or something like that.

I’m likely going to stay with it though, if for no reason other than I won’t be a full-time student any more if I don’t.  I’ll take it as a character building experience, a way to try and cope with the less rational aspects of the world.

All in all though, I’m feeling good about pretty much everything.  I have a lot of reading and writing ahead of me, and I’m also aiming to get a job at a library shelving books.  But I have friends around me and no gen eds to torture me.  Here’s to the enterprise of self-discovery.

Oh, and if anyone left a comment in the past month or so and it hasn’t gone up, that’s because it was marked as spam.  You wouldn’t believe how much of the stuff had piled up around here; there was enough to live on it, if a diet composed entirely of spam could be called “living”.  Man.

And boy let me tell you, does it feel good.  The semester’s over, the gen ed’s are over, freshman year is over…and now I can move on.  And with next semester’s lineup of all literature/writing classes (aka: the short story, intro to narrative, intro to poetry…and…another one…), things are definitely looking up.

I need to take a step back for a second though, and clear something up that’s been nagging at the back of my mind since…October 21st, if the date next to a couple posts back can be trusted.  I had said that I don’t have any “socially acceptable” hobbies.  Specifically, video games and the internet.

Who says those aren’t acceptable?  I love video games; where does this sudden bash on my future career come from?  And the internet?  Everyone uses the internet.  It’s everywhere.  So why the negativity?

I don’t know where it comes from exactly, but I feel like there’s some sort of social stigma from being involved to any high degree to either of these things.  That, and the whole geek/nerd/gamer stereotype that seems to have accumulated in the general subconscious.  I don’t want to be associated with those images and notions, so I think I tend to downplay my true interests until I get to know people better, or until they get to know me better.  And even then, I keep finding myself making sure I’m not crossing some sort of boundary, like, “Am I going off on some total tangent now?” or, “Is this boring you?”

Well, social politeness or no, I think it’s about time I owned up to what I’ve admitted here is an integral part of me.  My Shakespeare, my Picasso, my Mozart and Beethoven…my Final Fantasy.  To know me is to know an aspiring artist in the world of gaming.  And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Baby steps, though.  Gotta take baby steps.  Today, my blog.  Tomorrow…which in my mind is technically also today…maybe my bedroom.

Oh, and I’m afraid this also means I will probably start talking a lot more about obscure things that who knows how many of you will know about.  But then, maybe I’ll spark someone’s interest.

To wit!  I have discovered something so glorious, so unbelievably blissful, I can scarcely dare to hope that it won’t be horribly maimed due to adding all sorts of awful, out-of-character material.  I am referring to Final Fantasy Tactics: Shishi Sensou (which apparently translates to The Lion’s War), a port of the original coming to the Playstation Portable (PSP).

I think I told my dad on a recent car trip that this would be the ultimate thing EVER.  The original FFT…played anywhere I want.  It would practically render anything else as…extra.  And yet, already my fears are being realized.  Sure, they’re going to add some more classes, but do I really want them in my precious Lion-War-era-Ivalice if they’re going to be things like…Onion Knights? (That’s a no, by the way.)

I mean that’s just…there’s no way to make that dramatic and dark.  Imagine, you’re about to face the incarnation of the most hellish fiend imaginable, Altima, the head of the Lucavi, and so you head into battle alongside your loyal priest, lancer, ninja…and onion knight.  That is so something suited to Final Fantasy Tactics: Advance 2.  Which, I might add, is also going to come into existence!  Why do you hate us so, SquareEnix?  WHY???

*Sigh*

On a brighter note, after having gotten myself hooked on the music of Final Fantasy Mystic Quest (awful game, glorious music), and subsequently ordering the soundtrack for it, I happened to find a project of remixes for it.  Most of the songs were…junk…but one of them was just so quirky and innovative that it is genius, genius I say!  Because what’s better than an rocking boss theme? One done solely with Homestar Runner sound effects.

That’s right.  Homestar’s Mystic Quest.  It, along with just about everything else that the composer, Mazedude, has done, is superb.  Thus, I am also now hooked on video game remixes.

And on a minor sidenote, Super Smash Brothers: Melee has secured its place in my heart now that I have a character I like to use – Mr. Game and Watch.

I was skeptical too the first time I saw him.  Hah, a 2-dimensional character from a series of low-production gameboy games!  That’s hilarious!

I beat two end bosses with him.  Fighting at the same time.  And I only had one life.

Game and Watch forever.

[P.S: And as soon as I figure out how to somehow share tunes with this here blog here, I can let you all in on the fun…]

Edit: Mwahaha!  Unlocked the secrets of the eons have I, and all that is left now is to link it up!…Mweehee…

Homestar’s Mystic Quest

Edit 2: Booo…well, I can’t link directly to them, but if you go to the remixes page, there’s the whole list of songs.  You just have to click on the pictures to listen.  Be careful; they start at full-blast-bleeding-eardrums volume.

Some other listening suggestions: River City Rammstein, Turtle Wave, Reich Lake, Surface of the Moon.

Alright, so I know I said I’d tell you guys all about that thing that was going down last weekend.  In retrospect, that particular wording was perhaps in poor taste.  Because you see, I talked to my dad last weekend.

Some of you out there know that I’ve had issues with him, and I don’t know that I said everything I had planned on saying.  All I know is, I said enough, and that feels really good.  I won’t get into details, for multiple reasons.  (“Hey dad, we had a moment, so I went and told everyone all about it!  On the internet!!  Isn’t that great?!?”)

I wonder what Julie will say when next I speak with her…

In other news, I finally got myself a copy of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Hey Sam, I’m so bringing it to the movie night tomorrow, and we’re totally watching it with the subtitles for People Who Don’t Like the Movie!  Believe you me, it’s even better hearing the classic lines while reading subtitles from Henry VI, part II.  Pure, comedic genius.

Now I have to go to bed, so as to arise early in the morning and partake of the goodness that is Final Fantasy XII.  It came in a steel case!  With special edition, 2-disc goodness!  But the hunts are hard…grumblefreakingcluckatricegrumble…

(PS: Also, I now have Advent Children — which I will not watch it until I finally beat FF VII, which means I need to get a new copy first — and my sweet artifact deck is nearly complete.

Yeah, you heard right Nathan.  I went and got the darn thing.  That’s what birthday money’s for, or so I figure.

Yeah, feeling knida random tonight.  Well, not really feeling much of anything this very moment.  Which is what happens when I’ve done something I may regret later.  Something that I should’ve done a long time ago.

I also kinda feel like a bum.  No job, no loan, no socially acceptable hobbies (by which I am referring to video games and the internet).  This feeling is also partly due to that thing I mentioned.

…I’ll tell you all about it once a resolution has been achieved…

In other news…um…Cleric!  Necromancer!  La Pucelle!  They all vie for my attention, but I am merely one man…alas, my existence is too limited.  Le sigh.

I’m twenty.  Not sure how it happened; just kinda snuck up on me.

…Is it possible to alienate oneself from oneself simply by continuing to exist?  Because I think that’s what just happened to me.

…Don’t want to keep thinking about this right now.  I’mma go play La Pucelle Tactics instead.  There’s less critical self-scrutinizing in that.

And maybe brush my teeth.  Best to get that out of the way at five AM.

Well, my biology test was today.

This Monday mishap merely merits mention because I thought it was set for Wednesday.  Saves me the trouble of thinking about studying all the night before without actually doing anything.  A quick moment of panic, and then the test.  Which turned out to be not so bad.

Oh, and my advice from…I guess four or five days ago: don’t ride your bike whilst holding an open umbrella.  Totally not worth it.

Y’know, I have a lot of respect for people who do consistent things online.  Daily bloggers, daily and weekly webcomic artists, Homestar Runner, Ask a Ninja…so many dedicated, motivated people pouring their soul into something on a regular basis.  Man.

About the only things I do on a regular basis are breathe and think.  Well…I exist regularly, anyway.  As much as I can be referred to as “regular”.

 Blatant Segue (But Not Really)!!

There are so many little thoughts and observations I make in a day that go unrecorded, forgotten.  Musings about me, my future, the future of the world, life in general…all lost to the whimsical pages of fleeting memory.  And I know that there are little insights I’ve made that I can’t recall, so that I’m essentially back where I started.  It’s frustrating, taking a little step forward, knowing that I’m just going to be taking it back in a few hours.

But then that fades away too, and I move on.

I keep talking about things I want to do, things I hope to accomplish, talents I should learn and develop and use.  But in the end…it feels like I do a whole lot of talking.  Talking, thinking, feeling…but no follow through.  Is my need to create being stifled by my fear of failure?  Or by itself?  Or is it the effort involved in the act of creativity that’s stalled me?  Or am I keeping myself dreaming of things I could do so that I don’t have to discover how un/talented I really am at them?

…And this is the kind of thing what happens when I let myself think for too long.

BS the Second!!!

So anyway, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I am a Final Fantasy Fan.  Hardcore.  This probably explains why I own FF I , II (really IV), III (really VI), VII, VIII, IX, X, X-II(cringe), Mystic Quest, Origins (I & real II), Dawn of Souls (Same, for GBA), Anthology (V & VI), FF IV Advance, Tactics, Tactics Advance (sigh), Legend I, Legend II, Legend III, and Adventure, not to mention FF: The Spirits Within (movie), FF: Unlimited (anime), The Black Mages & TBM: The Skies Above (CD’s), FFT: Original Soundtrack, FF VII: Piano Collection, and the numerous burned copies of soundtracks and piano collections from my good friend Jim “way” back in high school.  And my book of FF VII piano music.

 …Yeeah.  Way hardcore.  Oh, I should probably add numero XII onto the end there, seeing as I’mma get mah preorder on the end of the month.  Mmmm, steel case…

So anyways…I guess the point of that was: video games are a part of who I am.  I see them as not just entertainment, but an art form as well.

I…think I’ve said that before too…well, just for the record then, there ’tis again.

Good tidings one and all; as a parting gift, here is geography.  Made fun.

PS: Sorry for the wait y’all.  Since I’m just so, y’know, vital for your rounds ‘pon the web. [/jovial sarcasm]

Oh, right!  My blog.  Writing.  Ummm…

There ‘ya go!

But yeah, I’m back in college.  It seems like there’s so many things to do (which there are), but when I sit down to do them, my mind goes blank.  Or my motivation starts wilting.

For instance, scholarships.  I’ve signed up at this place called Fast Web to look for them.  I’m pretty sure it’s legitimate, seeing as how a poster in the financial aid office was advertising it.  But anyways, I’ve found that there are a great many out there, and I could apply for a number of them.  But I looked at them, and then…looked at them some more.  I know it’s that or a loan, but even then…

Oh, and if I’m doing that, I’ll need to get on it.  Ay…

On a positive note, though, I’m signed up for all my classes!  And I have a plant!  From my People, Plants & Environment discussion.  Supposedly there are prizes given out at the end of the semester, providing you keep it alive.

I care not about such fickle, transient things.  I will love it and feed it and pet it forever and ever and ever.  Not going to name it though.

…Nnnnope, not going that far.

But it’s my little plant.

I’m not feeling so verbose tonight, and I’ve been meaning to write for a while.  So, here’s some snippets:

A customer appreciated my helping her so much she had me call my manager so she could say as much.  That feels really good.

Working an early-opening eight-hour shift right after a late-night eight-hour shift should be illegal.  Or highly frowned upon.  Either way, it makes for a frustrated Khalil.

EBGames is dangerous for my wealth.  Preorder count: 3.

I LOVE Shadow of the Colossus.  Not so much in the way that Ico holds a place in my heart, but it is greatness all the same.

My last day at JCPenney is August 19th.  Yay!

I have to get ready for school.  Oh jeez.

It is possible to like your manager while at the same time be furious at them.  I don’t know how or why, but it is.

I’m this close to beating Dragon Warrior II, despite the ludicrousness of the given tasks.  So close.

…And that’s about all.  Other than needing to some day find another PS1 memory card.  Evenin’ all.